On Self-Pity and Feeling Better
During those days I feel I had nothing going on for me, nothing seems to make me feel better. How come self-pity comes naturally for most of us? How come that when things go sour, we relish the moment to sulk and curl up in a ball and hug the moment like it was our first born child?
And the most usual thing is that we get around to talking to our friends or to anyone who bother to listen, we immediately go on exaggerated mode
like we were put on earth to suffer. "It's unfair!", "How can he do this to me?", "Am I not worth anything?"
I see it all the time. On news, Wish Ko Lang type of shows or even when I bother to get talking to someone... and boy oh boy to the tears fall so easily! Some people are really good at looking so kawawa.
And just last week, I was the same! Like those people, I readily shared my pain on every social networking sites I can get my hands on. I was full on Self-Pity mode. It felt like the world was crushing down on me and I had no one...
To be perfectly honest, I know deep down inside that I do! That a small part of me was shouting to shut-up and get on with my life. And that I was not making sense because I am a strong, confident and independent woman who take on just about anything. Heartbreak, mean criticisms and self-doubt... they were nothing.
But no, I was dead set on shutting that voice down. I loved the drama the situation was feeding me. Add to that a playlist on my iPhone augmenting by already sullen mood. Oh boy! The driving part going to and from work was like a scene out of a karaoke video.
Blame it on the PMS, or that my life has become monotonous lately. And it didn't felt good after. A week later, I felt so embarrased - and disgusted with myself - for acting out and letting one small thing affect me in such a big way that in return affected most of the things in my life. I'm not a loser. Some people may think I am, but what I think about myself is what really matters.
I was only too happy that before the week was out last week, I got a chance to talk to a friend. Not the preach-y type of friend who would go all Oprah on me... one who like me, have had self-depreciating moments. She help me see things clearly and put them in proper perpective. She didn't have to say so much, but what she said was quite enough to snap me back to reality and get out with the incessant dramathon in my head.
Because to be honest, I am already quite in deep in my makeup addiction.. I don't need to be addicted to petty dramas in my life.
And the funny thing is we all have this moment. No matter how trivial, we all seem to find ourselves making such a big deal out of it and causing more trouble for ourselves than necessary...
My advise? Get away from it all. Take up a new hobby! Talk to your dearest friend. Over mojitos if I may add.. We're allowed some drama in our lives. But not too much that it would ruin your way to becoming the person you want to be proud of.
I learned a lot last week. I learned that I need to be more patient. To be more understanding. That I am am significantly blessed and have so much going on for me. That when I feel that I have nothing, I just have to close my eyes and feel every breath that comes out of me. Being alive already is a blessing. It means that I can change my fate and how I feel about my current state.
Best of all, there is always ALWAYS something to make me feel better. Have you found yours?
Share them by commenting below. I would love to read all abut how you got over your self-pity mood days. :)
2 comments
Amen to that. :)
ReplyDelete~ right now, i'm at that "changing careers" stage of my life... but i've been vacant for so long that I have always doubted if i could ever make a career comeback. these past few months have been such a struggle for me - mentally, professionally and financially. i've been on "hermit mode" as well... but now, opportunities are trickling in, albeit differently from what I envisioned it to be - yet I appreciate this a lot. Despite of everything, i would always think that my problems are still small compared to what others are going through right now, and that i have family who have never questioned my decisions and supported me... and friends who are continually reaching out to me no matter how i isolate myself. cheer up Shen, its just that we have to sometimes deal with sadness and pain for us to be grateful for blessings in life that we often overlook. :)
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear from you!